


We Liked Each Other and We Still Do

by unsernameinuse



Category: Justin Bieber (Musician), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crushes, Love Confessions, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 04:19:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13227945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsernameinuse/pseuds/unsernameinuse
Summary: It's New Years Night. Justin and Niall have a moment away from the party.





	We Liked Each Other and We Still Do

Justin always used to be at the center of the party. Moving his body to a beat, pulling from a bottle full of something hard to swallow, pressed up against people he couldn’t see in low lights. Once upon a time, he needed that rush to feel alive, to be okay. 

Now he could just barely hear the sounds of the party through the door that opened up onto the garden. He eyed his cards critically with a beer by his side while Niall sat across from him and laughed.

“Mate, don’t strain yourself.” Niall said. Justin looked up at him with a smile. He couldn’t help smiling when Niall was around, it was a part of his magic. They were sitting out under the fairy lights with the chirping crickets instead of inside making bad decisions and somehow he felt perfectly content.

He didn’t need a whole party’s attention when Niall looked at him like that, his eyes crinkled up and glowing.

“Fine, that’s what I get for trying to help you,” Justin said. “Go fish.” Niall made a face at him and grabbed from the center stack. 

“Got any fives?” Justin asked.

“Nah,” Niall said, took quickly in Justin’s opinion. “Go fish.”

“Fuck off, I just gave you two of em last round.”

Niall shrugged, still grinning and he handed them over. “I had to try didn’t I?”

Justin just rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink. He wasn’t drunk by any stretch, just a little buzzed. Just enough that the golden glow of light on Niall’s skin was mesmerizing. The soft curve of his lips as he smiled, his soft green sweater, his big hands around his bottle. It was all a little too inviting.

A year ago, two, Justin would have been appalled at himself for this line of thinking. He would have had some inner break down and either run away or morphed into a mini-godzilla made of hyper-masculinity.

These days, after a lot of prayer, introspection, and a little of Niall’s Irish magic, he just smiled to himself and tried not to stare too long.

“You’re sure you wanna be out here with me?” Niall asked. “Instead of in there?”

Justin made a face. “Nah man, you know that’s not what I’m into anymore.”

“Just checking. Don’t wanna hold you back or anything.”

“I’d much rather be out here with you.” he said, and meant it. Niall’s eyebrows went up, as if he was surprised by the conviction in his tone, but he smiled anyway.

“I’m dead proud of you,” Niall said. “I mean to bring yourself back from the edge like you did...that took a lot of strength and I’m just. Just fuckin proud .”

Justin felt heat traveling to his cheeks and chest. “Thanks,” he said quietly. 

 

They kept playing cards for a while, slowly devolving into just drinking and talking. They told each other stories about their families, about the places they’d been and things they’d done. Some of the stories are brand new, others they’ve told each other over and over and just haven’t gotten tired of them. 

When they got hungry Niall braved the party for food. Of course, it took longer than necessary because everyone wanted to talk to him. Justin didn’t blame them. 

He sat back and waited, smiling as he watched Niall try to extract himself from a group of hangers-on. He could practically hear Selena in his head, her voice short from lack of patience. “Are you  _ ever _ going to tell him?” She would say. “Just go for it! The worst he could do is say no!”

But she had never understood. The worst he could do was leave. The worst he could do was decide to spend the metaphorical party of life somewhere besides out in the garden with him. He didn’t want the warmth in Niall’s eyes to leave, or change, or become less so. He could take it, but it would nearly kill him and he wasn’t sure what kind of person he would be on the other side. So for years he’s opted for silence instead.

That’s why, when Niall came back out with two plates and said “Bein in there makes me realize how damn cold it is.” and shivered, Justin didn’t offer to warm him up. It was a close call though. 

They sat back and ate mini pizzas, mini kebabs, and drank more beer as the clock ticked down towards the new year. A few people Justin didn’t know very well or at all came outside every now and then, usually to smoke or cool down. Some of them seem to have hoped the garden was empty so they could make out. They would stand around for a few minutes and then leave, trying to hide their disappointment. Niall and Justin graciously waited for them to get out of earshot before giggling.

“Do you remember when we first met?” Niall asked with only a few minutes left before midnight.

“Yah,” Justin said, grinning at the memory of how young they had both been. Niall’s face had been so red, his smile so wide. From the moment they locked eyes Justin had wanted to kiss him senseless. If he had hated himself a little less back then, maybe he would have. Maybe things would be different now. He doubts he would have ever found that dark path with Niall by his side.

“Yeah,” Niall smiled at him, pure sunshine in the middle of then night. He ducked his head and said “I had such an enormous crush on you back then.” 

Justin went still. He couldn’t help smiling, his heart speeding up a little as Niall’s eyes locked with his and didn’t move. “You did?”

Niall nodded. “Oh yeah,” he said softly. “Big time.”

Justin swallowed. “I did too.” He confessed, heart pounding as he watched Niall’s eyes widen. He wasn’t sure how those words could fall from his lips  so easily when he’s been holding them and others like them prisoner since 2012. Words like “kiss me” and “please” and “stay.” 

It couldn't be the alcohol, because he only had one drink.

Maybe it was Niall’s particular brand of magic at work again.

“How?” Niall said, cheeks red and smile bright. He leaned in closer over the table. “I was a mess. I was bright red, faintin and screamin all over the place.”

Justin shrugged, leaning in a little closer himself. “I thought you were cute. Plus the crush really happened more later, when you were less-“

“Insane?”

“Excited.”

They stared at each other for a long moment.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Niall murmured.

Justin dropped his gaze, tracing the wood grain of the table . “I hadn’t really made my peace with being gay yet,” he said, realizing as he did that he hadn’t said the words out loud to anyone but God, his mother, and his therapist. “I still hated myself every time I liked a guy. I didn’t talk to you half as much as I wanted because I didn’t want to like you anymore.”

Niall was quiet for a moment, then his hand found Justin’s on the tabletop. Their fingers hovered for a moment before settling, intertwined.

“I might still have a little bit of a crush on you.” Niall confessed, his voice low and unsteady.

Justin moved his fingers experimentally, pressings Niall’s palm even closer to his. “Yeah,” he said, still staring at their fingers, entranced . “I think I do too.”

Niall’s other hand found its way under his chin, tilting him up so they were eye to eye and one breathe away. Very distantly, they could hear people chanting, counting backwards from ten. Justin swayed forward and Niall did too. They found each others lips  as the clock struck twelve.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and let me know what you think!


End file.
